Bleed Me (Haunted Roads Book 3) Page 4

  “Kenny, are you awake?”

  I chuckled. “Of course, I am.”

  It was in the middle of the night as I stared at the beautiful golden-brown eyes caring for me. Delilah sat on my bed, affectionately wiping sweaty hair from my forehead, still holding my hand. Her warm body next to mine caused more reassurance that she was safe. The solace in the fact that she was protected, over time, became misconstrued and turned into a full-blown obsession…

  I adoringly told her, “I need you safe.”

  Delilah’s shoulders relaxed. “Thank you. I am safe. You and Tuck make sure of it.”

  The mention of her brother’s name suddenly disturbed me. I guess my expression showed my confusion because Delilah asked, “What is it?”

  I blinked my eyes, trying to clear my thoughts of unwanted jealousy. Tucker had been the perfect brother to her and the best, best friend anyone could ever hope for. He didn’t deserve this betrayal.

  So many signs were present, but if you don’t know what they are due to ignorance, then you don’t see them. Dark shadows from my past found their way into my present and future life.

  At the time, I believed I had fallen asleep during my internal battle about Tucker because when I awoke, it was to Delilah lying next to me in my bed, watching me. It was a wish come true to have her so close, and it was a dream come true when she kissed me. Her lips were as soft as butter when they caressed mine. It was a timid kiss, but oh so good. When she stopped, I smiled at her. We had just had our first kiss.

  She hesitantly nodded. “Now, will you talk to me?”

  What? “Of course, I’ll talk to you. What do you want to talk about?”

  “You–We…” Delilah looked dumbfounded. “Kenny?”

  I pulled her to me. “Yes, darlin’, what’s wrong?”

  She cautiously said, “I thought you were mad at me.”

  I touched her face, thinking she was a part of the heavens above. “Why would I ever be mad at you?”

  “But you just… You rolled away from me.”

  I quietly chuckled, not wanting to wake Tucker or her dad. “Uh, that happens when I sleep. I roll, darlin’.”

  “S-Sleep?”

  I wish I had heard her timid voice and realized something was tragically wrong, but instead, I squeezed her. “But I loved waking to you.”

  “Wh–when did you sleep?”

  I chuckled again, clueless to Delilah’s concern. “Just now. You okay? You look shaken up.”

  She slowly nodded in thought. “Yeah, I’m a little shaken up.”

  I rolled to my back and had her lay her head on my chest. “Do you want to stay with me? ‘Til ya feel better?”

  I was surprised to feel her tears on my skin. Delilah whispered, “Yes, I would like to stay with you, Kenny.”

  The next morning, I woke, disappointed that Delilah was gone, but I understood her not wanting her dad to find us breaking house rules. I eagerly got dressed and ready for the day, anticipating seeing her. Walking down the hall, I heard, “Can I talk to you?”

  Tucker’s morning voice told me he was still in bed as he answered Delilah. “You okay?”

  Knowing she was right there for the reaching, I rushed into his room. “Hey,” I said, pulling her into a strong hug. “Good morning.”

  Because we were at the same height, her arms easily reached my neck. I just didn’t realize how slow they were moving, and how full of caution they were. “Kenny?”

  Into the crook of her wonderfully smelling neck, I said, “Yes, darlin’.”

  Her arms suddenly tightened.

  Instead of reading her, as I should’ve, I was in hog heaven! That was until I remembered her brother being present. I slowly pulled away to see his shocked face and winced. “Sorry.”

  Delilah was touching my face, studying me, but Tucker laughed. “Are you two together?”

  No longer paying attention to me, Delilah gazed at him. “You look happy.”

  “Hell yeah!” Tucker stated. “This bastard’s been pining over you, driving me nuts! And he’s become the suckiest wingman ever.”

  Delilah’s eyes found mine. “For me? No girls ‘cause of me?”

  I spoke the truth. “None of them compare.”

  Tucker asked her, “Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?”

  Delilah started to shake her head, but then stopped. Appearing somewhat disturbed, she looked to me then her brother, asking, “And you’re truly happy with this?”

  Tucker jumped out of bed and group-hugged us. “Yes, I trust Kenny. That means you can, too.”

  Youth isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. I don’t know why so many older people want it back. It was a blind time in my life. Even though I didn’t think I was selfish, I was. I ignored Delilah’s hesitation and jumped into a relationship with her that, deep down, I knew she never wanted. I let the love she had for her brother blanket the love I had for her. I used her emotions—her need to keep her brother smiling—and made Delilah mine.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “Alrighty, little boys, who’s driving next?” asked Diesel as he pulled the SUV alongside a gas pump. As it had been during most of the trip, his old rock-n-roll music was loud and without mercy. If I had to listen to “When You Close Your Eyes,” by Night Ranger on repeat one more time, I might have decided that throwing myself out of the speeding vehicle was a mercy all on its own.

  Jesus. The badass biker was lost in music from before I was born.

  He eyed me. “More complaints about my el music-o?”

  I lifted my hands in surrender, zipping my busted lips.

  He turned off the engine, giving my ears a break. Maybe there is a God.

  The gas station wasn’t busy, but I kept my hoodie tucked over my head as Diesel had requested. My face was one that he didn’t want seen much until I grew a beard and let my hair grow longer, to disguise myself a little more—not that anyone could recognize me with all the facial swelling. I had assumed hiding was for the Wards’ sake. The thought that I would soon have a new identity was lost on me.

  So young. I was so damn young and confused.

  In the back seat with me, Scorch opened the door while volunteering, “I’ll drive.”

  Diesel now glared at the passenger seat.

  Art laughed. “I know the routine. To the back I go.” He opened his door and got out.

  Prez leaned across the seat while shouting, “Hey! Pump the fuel while you’re at it.” He looked to the now empty seat next to me. “No offense, kid. I don’t do backseats.” As he got out of the driver’s seat, he swore under his breath, “I fucking hate cages.”

  “Diesel?”

  The big man leaned his tattooed arms on the top of the open doorway and ducked his head back in. “Yeah?”

  Full of nerves for my future, I tugged on the front of my sweatshirt. “I, uh, don’t know what’s happening next, but, uh, thanks for trying to help me.”

  He rested his head on his arms. “Ah, shit, kid.” I guess he realized I hadn’t been told anything. “You haven’t asked questions, so I assumed you knew what was up.”

  I swallowed. “I’m not really sure I even know what a Prospect is—except for what I’ve seen in the movies.”

  “Movies, huh?” After exhaling, he pushed off the SUV, then backed away to make room for Scorch. Diesel shook his head, chuckling. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this.” He opened the back door and got in.

  With wide eyes, I stared at him sitting in the back with me.

  Not even looking at me, he growled, “Don’t you ever tell anyone about this shit.”

  Honored, my throat tightened. “Won’t tell a soul.”

  Click! Scorch’s cell phone snapped a pic.

  “Motherfucker,” complained Diesel.

  Examining his cell, Scorch laughed while wiping his hand down his barely maintained beard, like he was trying to cover up his mockery. “Oh yeah, this is going to get me out of a hot spot when needed.”

  Diesel glared at me
. “You happy now?”

  I couldn’t help it. I smiled.

  Back on the road, chowing down on the few snacks I was able to grab at the station, I sat next to the President of the Redemption Ryders. His broad shoulders took up the space between us. His ringed fingers curled into relaxed fists. On the top of his right hand, a tattoo read Will Find You in beautiful cursive script.

  I had never noticed it before. I guess there were many things I had yet to notice about the man. With a side-eye glance at him, I managed to mumble, “The tattoo, what does it mean?”

  His left hand rubbed the tat while he stared out his window with a look of lost remembrance on his face. His reply was brief and gruff. “A promise.”

  Diesel didn’t disclose further, so I didn’t ask what that promise meant or whether he had kept it. I stayed quiet and opened a bag of my favorite type of Doritos—Cool Ranch because I just loved ranch—which brought back memories of Delilah’s surprise seventeenth birthday party…

  I had got a hearty helping of a macaroni salad because it looked like the cheap crap you could make from a box. Delilah usually made everything from scratch, but as it was a surprise for her, Delilah hadn’t made it. I hadn’t had this kind, the kind my mama made, in forever. Taking a huge bite, and loving the burst of artificial ranch dressing on my tongue, I quickly dug my fork in the pile for another bite. That’s when I realized there were orange slivers in the salad. Carrots. I once ate carrots in front of the Wards and ended up in an Emergency Walk-In Clinic. Mr. Ward had felt I was having an allergic reaction when my face and neck went all red. I hadn’t even remembered eating them.

  This time, just the color of the carrot had my mind fading to a time when I was younger. I don’t know how old I was, but I was in a stranger’s home.

  On my hands and knees, my heart was pounding. For some reason, I was so afraid. There was a man there with a package of carrots. I couldn’t see him behind me, but his large hand pulled one from the package as he said, “They help test to see if you’re clean and get you ready for—”

  The plate full of Delilah’s surprise birthday meal was suddenly swiped from my lap and onto the grass in her backyard. Delilah dropped to her knees in front of me, grabbing my hands. “Kenny, did you eat the macaroni salad?”

  I wanted to tell her I didn’t think I was allergic to carrots like the Walk-In doctor had claimed, but my mouth wouldn’t work. I was now realizing that I had been misdiagnosed. Due to the shock of the memory, I was dazed, and my blood pressure was sky high, causing my flushed appearance.

  With a shuttering breath, the memories slipped away, and closing the bag of Doritos, I quietly asked, “Diesel, have you by chance done any research on what Delilah thinks I have?”

  It took him a minute to reply, but he finally answered, “I did.”

  When he didn’t share more, I explained, “You took my cell. I have no way of researching it myself.”

  He inhaled… and exhaled… “The articles I read claimed that a severely traumatic event can cause it. Like, your brain kind of goes on the fritz to protect your—” he stopped.

  “My what?”

  He cracked his window before lighting a cigarette. After a big ol’ puff, he told me, “Scientists would probably say to protect your mind.” He took another large inhale of smoke, then blew it out the cracked window. “I’d say the memory loss is to protect your soul, kid. Some shit is just too much. Feel me?”

  The memory of the man and the carrots had my stomach turning. It felt distant, like not a true memory, yet so close it may have happened yesterday. “Yeah. I think you may be right.” Staring at the pack of Camels, his cigarette of choice that seemed to calm him, I asked, “Can I have one?”

  Almost thankful for the change of subject, he teased, “They’ll kill ya, kid.”

  I smarted off, “Who’s the dumbass now?”

  The two other men in the SUV roared through uncontrollable laughter.

  I was good as dead anyhow, so what was the difference? Mouthing off to a biker, nor a cancer stick could change that fact.

  Scorch laughed. “Art, please give that kid a high-five. Balls. He has balls!”

  Diesel’s nostrils flared. “Oh yeah? Think the kid’s got what it takes?” He handed me a cigarette and a lighter. “Have at it.”

  Not really sure how, I put the end in my mouth and lit the tip while inhaling…

  Then I coughed my ass off.

  More laughter, now from all three men, almost burst my eardrums.

  Art reached around his seat and took the poison. “Give me that shit before you bust a lung with your gagging.” He cracked his window and took a drag.

  As I took a much-needed swig of red Gatorade, Diesel asked, “You done fuckin’ around? I’d like you to know what’s up.” I smiled, feeling Gatorade dripping from the crease of my mouth. “The fuck?”

  Diesel tossed me a napkin, but I was already wiping my mouth with my sweatshirt sleeve. “Ready.”

  Diesel rolled his eyes. “We’ll see about that.” He explained a few key facts about my next days to come. “The Steel Stallions is a solid club; mean as hell, but also extremely loyal. I will vouch for you until a member decides to stand up for you.” My scrunched face must have spoken of my confusion because Diesel explained, “It’s a protection thing. Even though I’m not a Stallion, I’m connected to this club in other ways. Not gettin’ into all that el shit-o with you right now, but just know my name and rank carries weight.”

  Even with eyes straight forward and focused on the road, I could feel the weight of Scorch’s comment when he mumbled, “And then some.”

  Diesel shrugged, like ‘it is what it is’ then told me, “My point is, I’m not handing you over to a club that can’t handle all you got kickin’. They can cover a trail and keep it that way. I’m personally paying for your new identity.”

  My head jerked back into the headrest. “W-What?”

  “Sorry, kid. Has to be done.” Watching me grab my stomach, his gravelly voice softened, “Try to do this for Delilah. Ya understand?”

  I so understood. “I did my best to take care of her. I swear it. And I’ll keep trying.”

  Even the small details were something I had always tried to do for Delilah. Like, since she had been so kind as to share her car with me after I moved into her home, I had driven her to school every day and walked her to every class. At the end of the day, I would happily drive her home. In return, she would cook me dinner, and her dad and brother, of course.

  We were becoming closer and closer. She came to adore it when I called her darlin’. The nickname sometimes even got me an endearing hug that would melt my heart. Her hugs were so special they could even pull me from lost moments. There were times I had believed I’d simply been in such deep thought that it had me forgetting what I’d been doing.

  Now, I know I had been coming to or ‘becoming’ Kenny again.

  I’d suddenly be standing somewhere, holding Delilah. She would be kissing my chest, whispering words I couldn’t understand because they were so soft and quivered.

  Clueless to what had been transpiring, I would ask, “Why ya shaking, darlin’?”

  At the sound of my voice, her arms would tighten around my waist. “J-Just missed you. That’s all.”

  Affectionately rocking her from side to side, I would chuckle, “Seeing how I’m here with you,” I would peer around, trying to figure out where I was, “where exactly did ya think I went?” Where’s Tucker?

  Oh God, her beautiful warm eyes would stare into mine, telling me so many things that I was too ignorant at that time to understand, but her mouth would tremble through an attempted smile. “Here. You’ve been with me. I’m just being silly.”

  Diesel pulled me from my thoughts with, “I believe you, Kenny. But, there’s a part of you we can’t trust until we know you have a better hold on him.”

  Him. Diesel had referred to me—a part of me—as if I had separate entities. “Is that how I sounded in the field last night?
Like someone else?”

  He studied me while staying quiet, then solemnly nodded.

  I couldn’t help but wonder if that is how it had felt for Delilah.

  While she and I had been together as a couple, my nightmares had magically evaporated. Unfortunately, Delilah seemed to now be the one having the night terrors. Frequently, I would wake with her in my bed, crying. Of course, I would wrap my arms around her shaking body and try to soothe her. “Shh, darlin’, I’m here.”

  “K–Kenny?”

  Her voice was so distraught, I would kiss her all over. “Yeah. I’m here.” Through every kiss, I tried to show her love so she wouldn’t be afraid, not knowing I had been the one causing her fear. “Another nightmare?”

  Delilah would cling to me as if I were her savior. “Yes, another nightmare. I missed you.”

  Again, not recognizing key words, my heart would instead soar with pride that she wanted me. “Oh, darlin’, I’m not going anywhere.”

  What she wanted—what she needed—was for me not to be insane.

  I think it made her unstable, too. She began to hungrily kiss me. “Don’t. Don’t go anywhere, Kenny. Don’t change.”

  That beautiful girl was begging me to hear her silent pleas, not realizing all I was doing was getting lost in her desperate kisses.

  In the SUV, I had fallen asleep for a few hours. No one bothered me. It had been a long hard week, so they let me rest. When Scorch pulled us up to another gas station, I woke, startled.

  Diesel rested a hand on my shoulder. “You good?”

  I was far from it but nodded, “I just need to use the restroom,” not telling them I had been having another dream about some scared little girl, reaching out for me.

  Art pointed. “I think there’s an outside bathroom.”

  I looked to Diesel to know if I had permission to go unescorted.

  “Yeah. Go. I’ll grab ya a burger at the el café-o over there.”

  Still haunted over the scared little girl, the thought of putting a burger in my tense stomach sounded like a shitty idea, but I didn’t mention it. How could I explain being upset over someone I had never met?